Assumptions Of Love

Our youngest Munchkin (8) has been pulverizing my heart lately. Bridgette's tender and compassionate, taking careful consideration of others. I think that's the main reason she's hesitated to wake me with her needs the last couple of nights. Either that or I've been a horrid mother, under whom she's received the deepest wounds, which have caused her to choose sitting in dark, fear & pain during the wee hours of the morning, rather than waking me.

In the middle of our second mostly sleepless night, I pleaded with her, "I know I don't always love you perfectly - sometimes I'm not patient or gentle, and I don't always give you the time you deserve. But since I'm your mom and I'm doing the best I can to love you well, can you please just ASSUME LOVE and come to me?"
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Somewhere l-o-n-g after that, I woke to find that we'd both finally fallen asleep on the sofa. I carefully loosed myself from our body tangle and tip-toed off to my own bed, leaving Bridgette undisturbed - praying it would last. As I put my head down on a pillow (much better than kinking my neck on the arm of the sofa) the previous pleading came back into my mind ~ "Can you please just ASSUME LOVE and come to me?" Only this time I wasn't the one speaking these words. Now the Lord was speaking them to me.
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What an astonishing package of wounding, healing and reconciliation all wrapped up in one holy question. Somehow, in His graceful mystery, the mere speaking of His question brought NEW life to my heart and spirit. He spoke the question, and all of the sudden I am LIVING the "right" answer. Yes, Lord. I will ASSUME LOVE when I think on You.
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Over the decades of coming to know more of the fullness of the Trinity, I have assumed a lot of other things. Not so much in purpose and analyzed thought, but rather in brokenness and ignorance. On various occasions - some momentary and some extended - of relating with the Father, Son and Spirit, I've made assumptions that He's thinking this about me

• Disappointment
  
• Anger
• Condemnation
• One too many times to forgive
• Shame
• Inadequacy
• Lacking worth
• Failure

The aching in my own heart in having a daughter who doesn't come to me when I'm available to love her, must be only a tiny slivered reflection of the aching of God's heart at having the same. I, Tami, have loved my own daughter imperfectly and her hesitation is sometimes, unfortunately, for a valid reason. But God has forever loved me PERFECTLY and any hesitation on my heart is due to a lie - somewhere deposited, somehow believed.
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Maybe you're ready to ASSUME LOVE and go to Him too?? He's worthy of your trust. He'll prove faithful upon your risk. Maybe He'll speak a new question into your heart. Whatever He does, assume He's done it in love!!